Monday, August 17, 2009

say hello to my little friend.

the smoldering heat has had me laying way too low, meaning sleeping til late, watching movies in bed, eating twizzlers and well we all know what that leads to..

if you add in a little failed singing career, a years worth of frapuccinos, 2 kids and a mental breakdown..

this is why i've decided to get on the home workout train!

this is no ordinary video kids! this man is quite the deepak chopra of butt and thigh reduction!

i want to share some deep thoughts by tony little which i have to admit, make it hard to hold my gluteus maximus clench.

"you have to go out on a whim to win the fruit"
"you are the only one responsible for your failures"
"squeeze and squeeze, and squeeze and hooold"
"you have to fail before you are successful"
"life is too short!"
"defeat is only temporary"
"i've always had big cheeks"
"capitalize on your strengths"

and if that doesn't inspire you, maybe his lushous locks will.

good nite kids.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


and so i have recently found my long lost BFF from 1st grade thanks to the beauty of modern technology: FACEBOOK! 
as 6 year olds we spent hours in my room listening to beachboys casettes she snuck out of her mom's prized music collection. two years later, her family relocated thousands of miles away and sans internet days meant the next best thing were rusty bff necklaces. after almost 20 years of not seeing each other, we're reuniting.
i am now in the market for new bff necklaces and to my surprise, there's quite a lot more choices out there. how will i ever manage to pick the right one?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

yes, im a shiksa. MAZEL TOV!

i have been planning a bar mitzvah for over 8 months now. exactly one month from today FINALLY, approximately 447 people will witness what a young jewish boy anticipates for 13 long years..MAZAL TOV to manhood!

for inspirational and educational purposes, as always, i have resorted to "the internet" and netflix.

im sharing a few amazing snipets of what my life has been like for the past months.

first up, sixty-six, a movie about a nerdy english jewish boy who has dreamt of a fabulous bar mitzvah since his bris.

after a series of mishaps, including the bar mitzvah landing on the 1966 world cup finals and his parents' house burning down, Bernie is forced to settle for a low budget backyard bar mitzvah.

dad, insecure and everything but a successful shoe salesman.

mother, once fabulous, now married the wrong brother.

big brother, douche bag.

note: tight lips on all below.

his matching velvet suit and yamikah make me want to scream.

(i hear this boy briefly dated miley-crazyteeth cyrus, OY! so not kosher)

next up, the U2 mocumentary with ben stiller, bono had to start somewhere!

Krusty the clown's bar mitzvah on season 15.
Krusty decides to finally have his Bar Mitzvah after he returns to his old neighborhood and realizes his star is not in the Jewish Walk of Fame because he is not a Jewish "man".

we cant leave the ladies behind.. the oh so appropriate bat mitzvah singer from starsky and hutch:

i end my post with some yummy pics that make me want to time travel and be a bar mitzvah planner extraordinaire in the 50s and 60s.